having a sad night...
talked to Amy tonight. We had a really good talk. We've had a lot of good talks lately. We are slowly getting back on track and that feels so incredibly good. I just miss her. I miss "us". I am so afraid that the summer is going to slip through our fingers without us spending much time together. We spent all of last year hoping for the summer. We kept saying that once the summer came around we would be able to spend more time together. We wouldn't be so busy with out lives as individuals that we could spend more time together. I planned to travel up there more and she planned to come down here more. Whole weekends, without stress...
Now, the summer is a third of the way over for me, half over for Amy, and I've seen her twice. Its my fault. She told me that things are getting better between us. That we will try to spend more time together (more than the thirty minutes we saw each other last weekend) each time I can make it up to Jax or she can make it down. We'll work up to spending a lot of time together. Just step by step. I'm happy that she hasn't completely blocked me out, she's been trying so hard to forgive me. Every day gets a little easier for each of us. Its just hard some nights. Some nights, I am just sad.