Tuesday will mark the passing of a month since I have spoken to Amy. She has shut me completely out of her life. There is nothing I can do. I have spent a year trying to atone for the mistakes I made, only to be told that I will never be forgiven. I spent a year hoping that her fundamental goodness would soften her heart, I was mistaken. So now I am enveloped in a sadness that only lifts when I work, when I work so much, keeping so busy that thoughts of her only exist in the very back of my mind. This will probably be a very long, productive summer in the lab. This experience will make me a stronger person, mentally and emotionally. However, I fear it will also turn me into a very guarded person. I am not likely to want to open myself up to the possibility of this kind of sadness and pain anytime soon. So I work. I will be okay. Time and patience will help heal my heart.